People always say that Cross Fit is a bit of a cult (sorry, Cross Fit), but I think that Pure Barre enthusiasts are right up there on the "obsessed with their workout" list. I don't say this in a disparaging way. I think it is awesome when people get into their workout of choice. If I had any sort of attention span, I would like to think that I could get into, and master, a specific workout; however, as this blog establishes, that is not my style. Pure Barre has quite the loyal following, so I should have anticipated a pretty intense workout.... I have taken barre classes in the past, but nothing could have prepared me for the pace of Pure Barre. I tip my hat.There are some Pure Barre rules. You must wear appropriate athletic attire (there is plenty of Pure Barre swag to purchase in the studio in case you are unsure of what is appropriate). Additionally, you must have socks. I tried buying some barre socks a few years ago for general barre classes, but I accidentally purchased "New Mommy" socks. That got my mother-in-law way too excited. I have never birthed anything, so I do not wear my fraud socks. I rolled into Pure Barre in regular gym socks - rookie move.
It seems the sassier the socks, the more you know the gal isn't fucking around (I say gal because there were no men in my class). For example, some of the obvious regulars had socks with grips on the bottoms, a few had those socks with individual toe holes (there is no way that is comfortable), and one woman had new-age socks that were cut like some kind of foot bikini. Needless to say, foot bikini girl was pretty damn toned. I am sure the girls saw my socks and knew amateur hour was walking in the door.
The workout requires a set of light weights (I used two pounds), a ball that is roughly 5 inches, and a red resistance band. Pure Barre focuses on your arms, legs, abs, and "seat," which is their dainty way of saying your ass.
The workout starts off with lifting high knees at a rapid pace for ten counts. I thought to myself, "this isn't so bad." Things got rapidly more aggressive from there. First, we picked up small weights and started doing all sorts of small muscle contractions, such as small bicep curls, while still stepping.
The instructor eventually told us to drop to the ground, and we immediately began a 90-second plank, with variations such as single arm lifts with the weight while planking. Of note, in other workouts, usually the move to the ground is an opportunity to collect yourself. Not in Pure Barre. You have to keep moving. all. the. time.
Interestingly, the floor in the room is carpet. You need socks with grips so that you don't slide around during the plank. No matter what kind of game face I tried to maintain, the novice socks were making me face plant. I wanted to yell at the super-sock army of toned chicks that I really could do a 90-second plank! Do not judge me by my failing foot apparel.
The workout starts off with lifting high knees at a rapid pace for ten counts. I thought to myself, "this isn't so bad." Things got rapidly more aggressive from there. First, we picked up small weights and started doing all sorts of small muscle contractions, such as small bicep curls, while still stepping.
The instructor eventually told us to drop to the ground, and we immediately began a 90-second plank, with variations such as single arm lifts with the weight while planking. Of note, in other workouts, usually the move to the ground is an opportunity to collect yourself. Not in Pure Barre. You have to keep moving. all. the. time.
Interestingly, the floor in the room is carpet. You need socks with grips so that you don't slide around during the plank. No matter what kind of game face I tried to maintain, the novice socks were making me face plant. I wanted to yell at the super-sock army of toned chicks that I really could do a 90-second plank! Do not judge me by my failing foot apparel.
Eventually, we went back to the center of the room (fast as shit of course - how are these girls transitioning at this pace), and we do more "tucking" and a serious abdominal workout.
We periodically used the red resistance band to stretch...for like 5 seconds...then more moving. Always more moving.
Everything burned - my "seat," my arms, weird muscles that I did not know existed, and everything in between. I felt the workout for days, which is exactly what you want in a workout. Excuse my Mellencamp, but it hurt so good.
I got a follow-up call from Pure Barre the next morning. It was kind of like that call after a first date that you're not sure about. You tell them you had a great time, and admittedly, it was cool and different, but you don't know if you're ready to commit.
I got a follow-up call from Pure Barre the next morning. It was kind of like that call after a first date that you're not sure about. You tell them you had a great time, and admittedly, it was cool and different, but you don't know if you're ready to commit.
Pure Barre also followed up with me by sending a postcard. I am 80 inside, so I love receiving mail. Pure Barre scored major points with this move. I included the postcard picture so that you could understand where the title of this post comes from. Look at those faces and those arms. So strong. So fast. The only explanation for being so strong, fast, and serious - robots. I did purchase an introductory 30-day deal because the introductory package is offered at a discounted rate for new participants. Much like the dating world, persistence paid off for Pure Barre.
I will not go past the 30-day discounted trial. The workout is too expensive for something that I will not do everyday. However, I do think it could be awesome for getting toned very quickly. They do a program for brides, and I can see Pure Barre being a brilliant workout for a bride preparing for her wedding.
After my recent holiday festivities (by festivities, I clearly mean wine and baked goods), I think the 30-day unlimited is worth the investment. I want Pure Barre to kick my ass. I will also invest in some socks with grips... that don't tell lies about my life. I must show the robots that I can plank.
