Continuing my Classpass extravaganza, I signed up for Zum-Barre. The class was going to be a delightful combination of Zumba and Barre...or so I assume...I lasted 30 seconds. Given the following description, I won't bother to mention where I attempted to take the class.Things started off abnormal enough. I drove to the studio, which was a new studio for me. It was in a building where you would find a dentist office or a podiatrist. Small brick buildings in an office park. That was fine. I have seen workout studios in those settings. Not sexy or exciting, but a space is a space, and I understand that rent is expensive.
I walked into the studio and another class was finishing up, so I hung out in the "lounge." Lounge, lobby? Waiting area? Whatever. It was a gem. A lot of gyms sell gym clothes, and this one sold those, but it also sold hand made purses. See one of the fine pursues to your left. And hand made jewelry. There was also a mini-fridge in the lounge, but no indication there was anything inside the fridge for purchase. It seemed to be used as random shelving, much like the empty cardboard box next to the fridge. 
The class started, and I walked into the actual studio, which was surprisingly nice. Again, see picture.I start listening to two 17 years old ramble about smelling their workout mats while I put my stuff in a little storage cubby in the back of the room. I lined up in front of the mirror to wait for class to start. Unfortunately, then I looked at myself. I had a massive welt on the side of my head. Like golf ball large, and it was turning purple. Alarmed, I grabbed my stuff and ran out of the studio and back into the weird lounge. I walked up the to the girl who checked me into the class and asked "was this on my head when I walked in?"
The girl, who was an extremely disinterested late-teen or early 20-something stared at me looking rather dead behind the eyes for a second and goes, "ummmm, I dunno." Frantically, I followed up with "what do you think it is?" Again, "ummm, I dunno."
At that point, I decided that I needed to go to Urgent Care to investigate the situation because I feared an allergic reaction. I told the front-desk girl that I would be leaving and told her to let the instructor know that it was nothing personal.
I hustled off to the closest Urgent Care clinic. For a frame of reference, it was around 7 pm. I scurried up to the Urgent Care...Closed. Seriously, you closed two hours later than a doctor's office. I need Urgent Care. At that point, the bump was continuing to grow. You can see the picture below. That picture was my bump at about the time I left the class. Gross, right. Also, sorry for my friends who received text messages with the picture of this when I could not receive medical attention at the Urgent Care. Sometimes, the best medical advice is randomly surveying your friends.
Okay, I needed to regroup. A few doors down I notice a CVS with a Minute Clinic advertised. Perfect! Now, I obviously could have gone to an ER, but although I found the lump alarming, I did not find it ER worthy (and that was the consensus from the text message panel). Anyhow, I scurried into CVS to ask whatever nurse was manning the minute clinic wtf was on my head.
Well, you know what also closes at 7 pm...the minute clinic in that CVS. Seriously, what is going on? What is the point of all of these after hours clinics if they close before dinner is over?
At that point, I was very frustrated and nervous because said lump was growing and very warm. Desperate, I walked over to the pharmacist."Excuse me, but I believe I was bit by a bug," I politely say to the pharmacist. "Do you have any recommendations?"
The pharmacist looks up at me and says, "did you fall down?"
A little thrown, I explain that I was in an exercise class and prior to the start of the class I noticed this in the mirror. I reiterate that I believe that I was bitten by some type of bug.
"Did you get hit with a pipe?" asks the pharmacist.
I just looked at her stunned at that point. Admittedly, I did look like I was hit with a pipe, but I clearly stated what I had just been doing. More importantly, if I had been struck with a pipe, I probably would have gone to the emergency room, not be questioning my local pharmacist. Also, where would I be getting in a fight that involved pipe beatings? Am I in a Zumba gang? Is there a lululemon fight club? No, Miss Pharmacist, I was in a Zumba class...potentially with a bug.
She looked at me skeptically and then told me the aisle where I could find the Benadryl and recommended I put ice on my head. She also said I should really go see someone if it got bigger...or if I fell down and forgot. What? Just, what?
Luckily, I took a benadryl and held a bottle of water against my head and the lump began to go down. Defeated, I got some frozen yogurt at the store next to the CVS and drove home.
I have not returned to Zum-Barre. I do not know what caused my head injury, but I am too afraid to risk encountering whatever it was again, even if I want to see what kind of other goods they sell when they run out of purses.
