Body Attack is one of the fantastic workouts
created by Les Mills. The description of Body Attack is a sports inspired cardio
class with high-energy interval training that combines athletic aerobic
movements with strength and stabilization exercises. The calorie burn on this workout is estimated to be pretty high, and for once, I actually believe the estimate.
Unfortunately for the instructor, today her body was literally
attacking her. When I came into the class
she was wearing huge sunglasses. I thought to myself. "this is new."The instructor informed the class (at a loud volume) that she had a migraine “but it will be okay guys, we will get through it together.” I was not trying to get through anything “together” with my instructor. She seemed like a wonderful woman, but I doubted that her severe physical ailment was something she was going to successfully address with some spandex clad office drones. For myself, I was just trying to burn off my lunch while jumping around a little in a 6:15 Body Attack. This was going to be an experience.
Again, she was working out in her sunglasses because
of the excruciating pain. And not workout sunglasses. We are talking massive Jackie O' like shades. She also announced that she could not see the people past the front row
due to her vision, and she refused to wear glasses while working out (clearly sunglasses were the exception). She also never intends on wearing contact. She said this as
if she had some moral issues with them - I don't know what Acuvue did to wrong her, but she did encourage us to all
introduce ourselves, so she could say hi to us when she sees us around the gym
later (how will she see us?). We began
our warm-up, which went fine. It
involved a lot of jogging in place and grape-vining, which is essentially side-stepping while alternative which foot goes in front of the other.
We then moved into our first cardio interval. Our instructor pumped up the music…and
visibily winced. We were running in
place with high knees, doing jumping jacks, and doing some football runs in place. She pumped up the music volume and encouraged us to scream…silence. You cannot tell a room full of people that you are in horrific pain from a migraine and then ask them to scream at you. It just is not going to happen...unless you are in a room full of assholes, or you are known to be a masochist. No one in our class wanted to be the dick that screamed at her and watched her fall to her knees in pain…however, that did come later.
After our first cardio interval, we moved down to the floor for push-ups and planks. This was great for the workout…terrible for the instructor. She held her forehead doubled over on the ground in pain. I have encountered a lot of awkward things in my life, but this was up there. We should have probably all walked out to give the poor woman a break, but she was not willing to stop. I suspect she might have stayed and worked out even if we had left.
We got back up for our next cardio interval. We ran circles around the room, did jumping
jacks, power lunges, etc. At that time,
our instructor informed us that she was in so much pain that she could not keep
her balance and took a few stumbling side steps; however, she simultaneously cranked up the Katy Perry and kept screaming enthusiastic
things at us. Keep in mind, she is still in giant beach sunglasses and periodically grabbing her skull in pain. Weirdest. vibe. ever.
Finally, we ended the class by taking it back down to the
floor for various core exercises, mostly crunches. Thank goodness the class was over.
I had a migraine once in college. I did not understand what was happening to me, and I went to the health center because I thought my brain had burst. I give credit to anyone who deals with migraines or even headaches.
I had a migraine once in college. I did not understand what was happening to me, and I went to the health center because I thought my brain had burst. I give credit to anyone who deals with migraines or even headaches.
I appreciate the instructor being a trooper, but next time,
cancel class. We can all find a
different way to hop around on a Wednesday night. I am going to check out whether the instructor is wearing shades before I take my next class of any kind.
