Aqua Zumba - Taking my gyrating "talents" to the sea...sort of (November 22, 2014)

Due to a hectic workweek,I kept my workouts simple this week.  In other words, all I did was run. This left me very excited for my  new workout of the week on Saturday, Aqua Zumba.  Apparently, much like yoga, Zumba can be done in a lot of places - or at least above and below water.

I am a bit of a slow mover on Saturday mornings, so I got to class during the middle of the first song.  I scurried into the pool.  I felt bad at first, but I soon realized that people come and go during the entire workout.  Maybe water workouts are more casual?

After the first song ended, the woman in front of me turned around and said "you're too tall," and pointed towards the exit. This was alarming.  I did not know there were height restrictions for Aqua Zumba! The woman to my right must have seen the panic on my face because she translated the very blunt message.  "She means you should move to the deep end of the pool because you're tall.  You want your arms under water so that you get a good workout."  This made way more sense than flailing around in water up to my waist...which was what I did for the first song.

I waded down to the 5 ft section of the pool, and shit got real.  Aqua Zumba was no joke!

Felicia, the lovely gal who translated the height instructions, seemed to be a part of a group of regulars.  Felicia and her fellow aqua gals instructed me to get in the middle of their circle in the water.  I felt both protected and terrified.

The instructor stood outside of the pool at the front of the room. I never gave any thought to the fact that the instructor would have to be outside of the pool in order for us to see what she was doing.  I am not sure if it was because the acoustics were bad, but the instructor did not say much, she just howled.  Literally, she howled like a wolf. When she howled, the class was supposed to respond with a howl (or so it seemed).

I followed Felicia's lead.  She knew the entire soundtrack.  There was a little Latin fusion, but there were also a lot of water-themed songs.  We heard a little "Ice, Ice, Baby," "Pontune," and "Wipeout," among others.  Luckily, just like regular Zumba, Pitbull made an appearance (thank goodness).

Like a regular Zumba class, there was also some random person having a party for one.  However, in a plot twist, she was in the front of the room.  You can really only see a person's head in AquaZumba, so you would  think the class would hide someone doing their own thing, but when someone flails their arms in and out of the water and faces the opposite direction, the cat is out of the bag.

The workout was much harder than I anticipated.  You do the same movements as you do in a Zumba class, but underwater (the name of the class is not hiding anything).  The resistance from the water makes everything more intense.

About 45 minutes into the class, you use water weights.  Felicia and her posse insisted that I use the big weights.  I don't know if they thought I needed to beef up, or if they thought I was super strong (I am assuming the former).   The weights that you use are constantly attempting to float to the top of the water, which makes for a surprising workout.  For example, bicep curls really do more of a triceps workout because the weights are constantly pulling up, and you are really pulling down.  Additionally, your core gets a great workout because you are using everything to keep the weights under the water.

The cool down did not involve much, but that was fine.  Interestingly, the instructor meowed during the cool down, which was a first.  A few people meowed back.  I decided that I was going to tap out after a few howls.

Adding water did not improve my dancing skills, but no one could see my moves, so that was a plus!   I am definitely returning to AquaZumba, and not because I am pretty sure I was initiated into some kind of water workout gang.   AquaZumba gave me a great workout without some of the strain I can sometimes feel in my elbows or other body parts when doing weightlifting work.

I felt like the class focused mainly on the upper-body, but that could have just been the set list for that particular class.  After a week of only running, it was nice to give my legs a great.  Plus, I think like a lot of women, I tend to do more cardiovascular workouts and neglect arm work.  The instructor might focus on the lower body during her Monday class (which Felicia instructed me to attend).

Shape Magazine estimates that you can burn up to 700 calories doing AquaZumba.  http://www.shape.com/fitness/cardio/8-low-impact-workouts-still-burn-major-calories/slide/3 Assuming this really is the average, please keep in mind there are a lot of variables that go into determining your calorie burn.  I will assume AquaZumba burns a nice amount of calories, and I know it also offers a great toning workout.  A win-win.

Felicia told me that AquaZumba was the reason that she joined our gym.  I really liked hearing this because I have never asked anyone why they have chosen a gym.  I think I will probably start asking that question when I try out new classes/gyms.

Of note, I was not going to wander into a class and take pictures of a bunch of women that I have never met in their bathing suits, so I took a picture of the empty pool.  To stick with the water theme, I just added some pictures of water from my travels to Costa Rica and Greece.  The End.

UFC Kickboxing with Georgeann - We now own pink wraps and sore arms (November 10, 2014)

I have learned that a fantastic coworker is like a solar eclipse - awesome and rare.   I am not talking about tolerable coworkers - the kind you are willing to discuss sports with, or go to a bar with after work.  Those are a dime a dozen (well, once you filter out the weirdos and dbags).  I am talking a truly great coworker who you want to spend time with even after a long day spent in the office.  Georgeann is my truly great coworker.  She is lovely, lots of fun and right down the hall - win.

At my last job, the woman who sat in the cubicle attached to mine used to spend all day on the phone...having loud phone sex.  I knew more about her underwear than I ever wanted to know about any underwear (lots of mesh thongs and animal prints).  I also learned a lot about her anatomy and the anatomy of strangers.  For example, there is a man out there named Richard who is not well-endowed (sorry, Richard).  Ironically, for all her penis and undergarment talk, she was happily married to a woman - go figure.  I was getting close to asking her to stop her sexually explicit conversations - or at least use her six-inch voice, but then I heard her on the phone with the police discussing how her cousin stabbed someone...I decided to purchase earplugs.  Needless to say, I am ecstatic to now have Georgeann...and my own office.


Georgeann knows about my challenge to attempt a new workout every week.  I asked her if she wanted to join me at a gym near our office, and she was totally down for some kickboxing.  After work, we popped over to the gym to take our class.

In our minds, we were going to one of those classes where we would kick and punch at the air while rocking out to the latest pop hits.  We were completely wrong.

We showed up to the UFC gym, and as soon as we walked in the door we realized our class was going to be very different from our expectations.  There were tons of bags lined up and a boxing ring in the center.  This made me a little nervous.  Again, I really like Georgeann, and I was afraid that accidentally inviting her to a sparring match would put a damper on our blossoming friendship.

Luckily, we did not get thrown in the ring; however, we did have to wear wraps and gloves. Your first class is free at the UFC gym, but you have to wear gloves and wraps.  They loan you gloves, but you had to purchase the wraps (so your first class is really $9.99).  We purchased pink ones because nothing screams intimidation like two girls purchasing matching pink wraps.  Bring it.

After we were all wrapped and gloved, we did a running warm-up with the rest of the class.  We then started a number of punching and kicking sequences.  We each got our own 150 pound bag.  After a few punches, I knew that I was screwed.  I bruise like a peach, and I was no match for the bag.  The first time that I kicked the bag I am pretty sure a muttered (or bellowed) ouch.

The trainer was incredibly nice and patient.  He gave us a lot of helpful tips for "dancing with" the bag.  Between each punching and kicking sequence, we did 30 second cardio bursts, such as burpees and jumping jacks in the push-up position.  One of the cardio bursts was a break dancing move.  I don't know if the break dancing move was new to the class, or maybe there is just no way not to look absurd attempting to break dance in boxing gloves, but that move gave me a good laugh.  At the end of our sequences we were able to free style.  This just involved punching the bag and hopping around in circles (at least for me).

We ended the class with some sprints and 10 minutes of abdominal work.  We did a series of ab exercises in 20 second increments.  It was tough.  The trainer kept making jokes about how he made people vomit with his workouts - the joke became less and less funny as the ab workout continued, but probably only because I started to suspect that it wasn't actually a joke, but a warning.  I was really longing for my pop hits and sweet air kicks by the end of the class,

The workout was intense and enjoyable.  Georgeann and I both commiserated over our sore arms the next morning. It was challenging and definitely different.  Will I do it again? Doubtful.  It is a bit expensive, and at some point I think the goal is to graduate into the boxing ring and this soft peach has no interest in that end game.

I am really glad that Georgeann is still speaking to me after our adventure.  Thanks, Georgeann!  You are a great sport.  I hope we can wear our matching wraps to the office holiday party.

Jazzercise with Lena - An event, not a workout (November 1, 2014)

For my 7th week, my friend Lena invited me to go to Jazzercise with her. I do not watch Scandal, but Lena is how I picture Olivia Pope.  She is an attorney, and she is tough as nails at work; however, she has a heart of gold (as demonstrated by her not-so-mild obsession with Taylor Swift and love for Jazzercise).  She also has an incredible wardrobe.

When Lena invited me to Jazzercise, I decided to Google the workout to see what I was getting myself into. Based on the images, I immediately wondered how Lena was planning on taking us back to 1987.  There were lots of leotards - I immediately sent Lena an email asking her what to wear. She said gym clothes would be fine.  As evidenced by the picture, Lena was wearing an adorable workout dress (see my faux-Pope reasoning).  Also, that man with the sweet stems is Kevin, the instructor.

Lena told me that I needed to go with her on a Saturday morning so that we could workout with Kevin.  She said that Jazzercise  with Kevin was an event, not a workout.  She was right.

I got up bright and early on November 1 to jazz off the uncomfortable amount of tootsie rolls and Reeses cups I had as part of my well-balanced pizza and wine Halloween dinner.  I was hoping no one would still be in a Halloween costume.  I could not take seeing one more slutty ninja turtle.  I have no problem with the slutty Halloween costumes - have at it, but things are getting nonsensical.  How about a traditional slutty witch?  No, you decide nothing screams sexy like a pizza-eating, sewer-dwelling, reptile.  In the words of teenage girls, I can't.

Luckily, there were no costumes, but there was a whole lot of sass.  Lena has us stand in the front row, and Kevin stood on a stage in front of us.  It felt a little bit like being at a concert.  A well-lit concert solely composed of middle-aged women, but a concert nonetheless.  Kevin was fantastic. He opened the class by discussing his Halloween. I always appreciate it when instructors share a little bit of their personal life.  He watched "Sex Tape," Apparently, it was delightful (who would have guessed).

The first forty-five minutes or so of a Jazzercise class involves choreographed dancing to today's pop songs - your Britney, Taylor, Bruno, etc.   In addition to providing us with a great workout, Kevin sang pretty much everything.  I don't think I have ever seen an instructor get a class so involved.  If he asked us to groan like Britney in Work B*tch, well, we all groaned in unison.  That is power.  He was very committed to the moves, which I think inspired the class.  He was not one of those instructors that just told the class what to do and only intermittently participated. Nope, if we were expected to pop out our hip and grab our ass cheek (which we were), Kevin was going to pop out his hip and grab his ass cheek (and he did it well).

The last fifteen minutes of the workout involved lifting weights, which I did not expect.  The cardio portion was such a good workout that I didn't really feel the need to lift weights, but it was a pleasant surprise to get a more well-rounded workout.

According to all-knowing internet, you burn roughly 422 calories in Jazzercise. http://www.livestrong.com/article/320555-how-many-calories-are-burned-in-one-hour-of-jazzercise/
I actually think I burned more, which I rarely say about a workout.  I'm not sure if it was Kevin, Lena, Jazzercise, or a combination of all three, but it was a fantastic way to spend a Saturday morning.  I will definitely go back.  Jazzercise was the kind of experience that I hope to have many times doing this new workout every week experiment.  I tried something totally different that I never would have thought of on my own, and I loved it!  Thanks, Lena!

Bootcamp with Batman...and Liz (October 25, 2014)

My friend Liz is hilarious.  In fact, she is probably one of the funniest people that I have ever had the privilege of meeting.  Liz and I often entertain each other with our work stories.  Like me, she also works in an office. I have learned that most offices are more like the television show "The Office" than they are like the strict professional environments we are warned of in school.  On Tuesday afternoon, Liz texted me to report that her coworkers were blaring "Careless Whisper" at full volume.   Going to my overall theory on offices, on the same day, my friend Erin (See yoga post) informed me that "I'm Real" by Ja Rule and J.Lo was pumping in her office.  Look up the opening line of "I'm Real."   Was this the soundtrack to Tuesday in the professional world?  Yes.  It was also the soundtrack to my high school dances, but we are getting off topic.

After addressing George Michael, I informed Liz of my new goal of attempting a new workout every week.  She asked me if I wanted to workout in a parking deck with Batman on Saturday morning.  My answer was obviously "yes, yes, a thousand times, yes."  She proceeded to send me a screen shot of a man

dressed in Batman gear taking a selfie.  That man, Batman, would be our fantastic trainer.

I picked Liz up on Saturday morning, and we headed out to...well...the street, to begin our workout.  The weather was gorgeous, so the workout ended up being outside on a beautiful patch of grass (perhaps we could call it a "square") along a cross street in Alexandria.  That is really the best description that I can give regarding our workout space - a pretty cross street.

Batman was awesome.  He used to be Liz's personal trainer, and he is also an aspiring actor.  Look for him in an episode of "House of Cards."  He said Kevin Spacey is crazy.  Again, off topic.

We started off the workout with a brief jog down the street to warm-up.  This allowed Liz and I an opportunity to catch up with each other before we no longer had the lung capacity to speak.  After our warm-up, Batman instructed us to do a series of walking lunges, sprints, burpees, etc.  I liked this boot camp for a number of reasons.  First, I was ready for an individual boot camp experience after my FO experience. Second, it was awesome to workout outside.  Third, Batman allowed us to go at our own pace, which worked well because there were 8 of us, and we were all at different fitness levels.

There was an elevated area on the "square"  where we were all able to put our mats for our stretching and ab workout at the end of class.  That is when things got really entertaining.  Batman broke out into song - Nelly's Thong Song.  He did his own slow, baritone version of the song while we switched between planks and crunches.  Earl, another person in the class, also provided his own rendition of "Circle of Life" from the Lion King.  At that point, the ab workout was kind of a bust for me because I was laughing too hard (I had the privilege of laying right next to Earl for his Broadway moment).

This workout was great.  For $10, I was highly entertained, and I was sore for days.  Batman made it very clear that he does not do cold weather, so the winter should provide me with the perfect opportunity to see what Batman can do with a parking deck.

Liz, thank you for taking me to this workout/show.